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title: 26/06/2008 11.05am  Hate this day, This time. i was upset that tian de actually ask zahirah for stead. cause i like him. i know he is not me guy. but i m just upset, not jealous. i m like that with any guy even if he is not ma guy or any thing. so ya i was upset. then i wanted to go to toilet to cry out loud. so i did not want zahirah to suspect anything. so i ask if she wants to follow me to the toilet. then she said no. So i ask uma. then i went to pee, but not cry. when i return to class zahirah sat with aishah. so i thought that she was angry with me. so i didn't tok to her much. theni sat alone and did my maths. so as i was doing, zahirah asked uma if i said any thing to her when she followed me to the toilet. uma said no. but then she did not believe. so i ask aishah to tell me what did zahirah say. then she told me. after that, i told aishah to tell zahirah that i m not jealous, just upset. Upset and jealous aren't the same. jealous is being jealous of some one some thing. i was just upset that. i liked tian de for so long bt he has no hearts for me but have the hearts for zahirah. so i was just upset. then i ask aishah to tell zahirah. she told her. so today (26.06.08) zahirah approached me. and asked every thing. and ya i told aishah that if zahirah happen to go on with tian de i don't care. as in i won't like him and break me heart even more. like thinking that ' ah! tian de is going on with zahirah' so like when i think that zahirah is going on with him, i will be angry with her right. so thats why i said i don't care. is not that i won't care of whatever she is doing. You know i care for her. ALOT!!! and i just love her. she said that i only know how to touch her heart by blog and by letter. she siad in person i don't know. i told her i wanna express ma love to you. but you were nvr with me. you go with aishah and hannah i cn't even make you have the feeling that actually i love you! and i even told her the day when we went out with fazree, shahrizal, hannah and deela we nvr tok that much. you was like all the way with them and only sometimes you approach and tok to me. and i would juat walk alone infront of them. So she just listen. and she brought up a matter about her b'day. i couldn't go to her party coz of my mom! she didn't let me go. so for a suprise. i wanted to send her b'day msg at exactly 12.00am. so i stayed awake for wishing her. so it was like 11.51pm. then i was like waiting it to be 12am. and at the same time i was watching something very interesting. so i didn't keep track of the time. it when at 1 plus! i was like omg! what the f***! shit man. then i sent her a msg typing happy birthday! i was such a dull msg. i know! how will you fell if ur bff sent u a dull msg for ur b'day! ya that feeling was what exactly she had. so that was me fault.! so at the end of our conversation she told that our relationship does not have chemistry and personalities! so she said that we are not meant for each other. she said since we don't have these we break. We end our relationship now! so i was like if that is wat god set our faith as. then let it be! so we broke off after all the shoutings and! i just hate this day man! i want her back badly.! i just wanna give another try to for our relationship! |
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title:  hehe. i had a damn nice time at india, kodaikanal! it was like damn cool! |
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